Balancing Personal and Work Life
Every year that goes by, we experience greater challenges to find joy in our lives and satisfaction in our work. The reality is that most of us do not have a choice to focus all of our time on one or the other. Our lives are so full and demanding. We have competing projects and priorities, and we are often trying to be all things to all people. It can take its toll on our body, mind and spirit. There is a real potential for an unhealthy balance. We need to consider the facts and do something about making it right and finding that balance.
The joy in a Work-Life balance is not just a personal joy but a contagion that can improve the quality of life for the people around us. Positive energy is exhilarating and uplifting. Negative energy can sap our strength and adversely affect our productivity. How many times have you benefitted from the positive energy of another? How many times has a coworker’s bad mood taken the wind out of your sail? It’s a fact. Our moods, good and bad, are contagious and affect others.
Let’s start with ourselves and hope that others will follow in our lead and by our example. Let’s consider how we will behave and what we can do to be role models for a better Work-Life balance.
The Plan:
First, we need a plan. Lee-Emery states:
Without planning your work-life balance program effectively, you run the risk of poor family relationships, deteriorating health, illness and disease. Moreover, you probably will not be as effective and productive at work. The ideal is to create a healthy family life and a fulfilling career. Both are possible. (2008)
Do a Personal Health Inventory First:
Have you seen your physician or healthcare provider in the past year? Are you keeping up with your medical treatments, medical advice and medications? Do you have at least one healthcare goal that you have carefully planned with your healthcare provider and are you on target? Are you working on weight management, cholesterol control, blood sugar control? You can’t ignore your personal health. It will have an impact on all the other areas of your life. Make sure to get on target; make your medical appointments; schedule gynecology checkups; do your self-breast and testicular exams; keep up with your maintenance prescriptions. And don’t forget: plenty of sleep, regular exercise and a good diet.
Decide on Your Goals:
Some common goals may be managing your health issues, preventing health issues, stress reduction, more relaxed time with family, doing enjoyable and fun things, more organization and planning so that work projects are completed in advance, additional training for a new job or a promotion, further training in your current job, and a good overall goal may be to be able to say you actually enjoy your work and you feel good about your accomplishments.
You are Worthy of a Joyful Life:
You deserve to be truly happy in your life. Are you missing the forest for the trees? What are your priorities, and more importantly, what should they be? Are the demands at work and home self-imposed? Are you an overachiever in excess? Do the demands you make on yourself matter to the very ones you are trying to please? Is a well made bed more important than baking cookies or going to the park with a loved one? Is the attention to e-mail and phone mail after hours critically necessary during the time you are with family and friends? What can you give up, or, better yet, what can you share? What really matters when you compare getting your job done and spending quality time with family and friends? Seek and find a balance. You then will be well on your way to a more joyful life.
A Balancing Act:
Don’t ignore responsibilities, but don’t let one imbalance the other. Don’t procrastinate on important work projects. We need to be productive at work. Keep a to-do list. Don’t let work become more important than family and friends. Have a plan to reset your priorities so that both work and home get the attention they need. Have a date night. Plan something fun. There are many demands on you, your time and energy. However, remember you are the center of this project. Your family and friends need you. Without you, your business or workplace is not the same. You matter. Take time to assess and consider what is really important in your life.
Involve your Family and Friends:
Let your family and friends know that you have made a decision to try to change some things. Talk to them about why your behavior is changing. Communicate to them that you are going to do some things differently and how you expect these changes will benefit everyone. You may be surprised that they recognize the need to change just as much as you do. Let family and friends support you. You can all benefit.
Being Effective at Work:
Are you achieving your personal goals at work? Is your supervisor satisfied with your work? Have you developed a network with team members to optimize the completion of work? Do you need additional training? Many times your coworkers are more than anxious to assist you. Subordinates also can feel good about assisting the supervisor to be successful. If one looks good, then everyone looks good. Everyone needs help now and then. It is good to have supportive relationships with those whom you work with.
Together Everyone Achieves More.
A Personal Inventory:
Have you done a personal inventory? Are you in the job that matches your skills and career goals? Sometimes we stay too long in the wrong position. Sometimes we fail to assess our strengths and delay going for that new position or that promotion. Being in the wrong job or staying in a job for the wrong reasons plays havoc with our psyche, our health and our relationships. We can’t have a healthy Work-Life balance if we are in the wrong job or the wrong relationship.
Being unhappy and unfulfilled in our work can take a toll on our personal happiness and diminishes our achievement of a joyful life. In this depressed economy, we may not have as many choices or chances to change. There is no reason to act fast or foolishly and then hope it will all work out well in the end. Develop a career plan. Continue to be fully effective at work. Take this time to upgrade your skills and begin to seek out role models and career coaches to get you where you want to be and, more importantly, maybe where you should be.
Imagine Joy at Work and at Home:
How will you know you have reached you goals if you don’t know what they really are or what they will look like when you get there? A few years ago, as part of a financial planning exercise, I was asked to create a “dream book.” This exercise directed me to answer some very specific questions. It also allowed me an opportunity to paint a picture of what I wanted my retirement to look like. The focus was on “living past work” and being able to “maintain a desired lifestyle.” I had to write down when I wanted to retire, where I wanted to retire and my desired level of spending. And, of course, I had to disclose what I owned, what I owed, what I had saved and what I had invested. This is a very worthwhile project, especially if you are in your twenties. It is even more important if you waited a little too long to look at the facts about retirement.
The point is, you need to decide on what is important in work and life and create some goals. Whether it’s personal or professional, each requires attention to a plan. Always remember that one is not more important than the other. Each one may vie for your attention to a lesser or greater degree, and at any point in time, depending on circumstances and timing, one may consume you. That is OK. Just keep the bigger picture in check. Don’t let one consume you for too long, and don’t let either one reduce the importance of the other.
Balancing Personal and Work Life
Work-life balance has become increasingly important in today’s world. It is here that we celebrate the role of rest and play. It is here that we evaluate the proper balance of the individual with regards to the stressors of work and the restful components and health benefits of recreational time. After all, without it, we compromise the success of our careers, relationships, health and happiness.
Having balance in your life is more than how you spend your time; it is also how you feel about that time: one’s perception of time in respect to their priorities and value system. It doesn’t always take one major event to want to change or to know something is not right for you. It is often a series of things. Many variables may come into play that sends off a loud signal (like a warning bell) in our mind that one needs to change their approach- their outlook on life for their greater good and well- being.
Work-Life Balance Defined - What it really means!
Let's first define what work-life balance is not:
“Work-Life Balance does not mean an equal balance. Trying to schedule an equal number of hours for each of your various work and personal activities is usually unrewarding and unrealistic. Life is and should be more fluid than that” (Bird, n. d.).
There is no perfect, one-size fits all, balance you should be striving for. The best work-life balance is different for each of us because we all have different priorities and different lives. According to Bird, “Work-life balance is meaningful achievement and enjoyment in everyday life, ideas almost deceptive in their simplicity.”
What Is Needed to Find Work-Life Balance
In order to find work-life balance, we need to take responsibility for, and become the creative force of our lives by deciding what is most important in our lives. By developing a vision and deep commitment to the “first things” of life and putting those things first, we can then organize our lives around our priorities.
The Importance of Finding Work-Life Balance
While some folks obsessively check their Blackberries in bed and haul their laptops to their kids’ soccer games, there are lots of other people looking for a better way to balance the demands of a high-powered career against a fulfilling family life.
The challenge of work-life balance is without question one of the most significant struggles faced by modern man. One of the greatest personal and professional challenges anyone can encounter is to find “satisfaction and good functioning at work and at home, with a minimum of role conflict” (Clark, 2000, p.751).
If work and family life become so highly integrated that the work-family boundary is blurred, it can lead to negative consequences such as work-family conflict, stress, depression and dissatisfaction with both work and family life.
The Imbalance of Work -Life Balance
Did you know the following?
- Health Care expenses are almost 50% higher for workers who report high levels of stress.
- People who experience work/life imbalance are three times more likely to suffer from heart problems, infections, injuries, mental health problems and back pain, and five times more likely to suffer from certain cancers.
- Workers who have to take time off work because of stress, anxiety or a related disorder will be off the job for about 20 days.
- As these statistics show, work-life balance is still an important (and costly) issue both for individuals and organizations.
Doing it Right and Avoiding the Pitfalls
Here are some helpful tips for maintaining balance in your life:
- Reassess yourself and your priorities. Recall happy moments and reserve them in your mind. Write them down in a small sheet of paper and stuff it away in your wallet. Keep a journal and write the positive memories that fill your day.
- Keep a positive attitude. Focus your thoughts on the positives in your life. Pull out that sheet of paper you stuffed in your wallet in step one. Remind yourself of the many things that you are thankful for and give thanks.
- Enjoy alone time as well as time with your family and friends. Set aside a time for yourself each day. Meditate or take a class in relaxation and stretching techniques. Relaxation techniques yield many health benefits. If time is an issue, find a quiet place on your lunch hour or at home and focus on your breathing. Ten minutes will make you feel renewed, rejuvenated and refreshed.
- Create a series of affirmations or wishes. Repeat these affirmations at regular intervals.
- Light candles. Use candles with de-stressing aromas. Aromatherapy has become a popular avenue to gain relaxation benefits. The sight and smell of a candle can conjure up feelings of peace within yourself and allow you to carry that with you throughout your day.
- Listen to music. It will uplift you and others around you. Choose a genre that may invigorate you and not drain you. Your choice is totally subjective; however, research has shown that nostalgic music from your youth provides one with the same youthful sensation you had in an earlier period of your life.
- Exercise. If the gym may be out of reach for the moment, take a walk around your neighborhood with a family member. There are many beautiful sights to see while you are doing something for yourself. Exercise has proven to be a tried and true reliever of stress and anxiety and is always recommended by health professionals.
- Keep an agenda and follow the schedule you set. Make lists and check off your accomplishments each day. The old cliché of “Don’t leave for tomorrow what you can do today” certainly comes into play. Problem solve with people around you. Ask them to help you alleviate stress.
- Do not brood over the negative or mishaps. Find the meaning or useful lesson in the misfortune and then turn the page and move forward. Tomorrow is a new day.
- Stick to your work schedule. Falling behind in your work tasks only works against you. Procrastination at work is a detriment and will only cause more anxiety.
- Allow yourself to say “NO”. You are only one person. You must take care of that person first. Review your schedule before agreeing to take on another task. Promise less and deliver more.
- Do not over indulge yourself. We tend to overindulge with the intention of making up for it. The amount of work it takes to take off those extra pounds may not be worth that extra piece of pie. Limit sugar intake and have more healthy snacks. While eating, enjoy and savor each bite. If you eat slower, you tend to eat less.
- Drink water and avoid caffeinated beverages. Drink fluids for the intent of hydration and to refresh and recharge your body.
- Be safe. Do not drink and drive! Do not let your friends or family drink and drive!
- Visit your doctor or dentist. Make appointments that you have been putting off.
- Be sensitive with expenses. The economy urges us to shop wisely and spend less money where possible. This wards off the stress of high debts later.
- Get a massage. Take a family member or friend with you. That time is a wonderful gift that serves you as well as your loved one.
- Don’t take life for granted. Enjoy the small quiet moments.
- Sleep eight hours a day. A warm glass of milk and a warm bath or shower is a peaceful ending to your day. If you are having trouble falling asleep because of all the events on your agenda for tomorrow, realign your thoughts to the accomplishments you had today. Celebrate your accomplishments!